I don't think I was ever really eccentric when I was young. I don't ever remember going through a stage where I didn't really care what people thought of me.
That's sad.
But I always catch myself thinking, If I were more quirky, I'd to this. If I went to a different church, I'd wear that. If they wouldn't think this, I'd try it.
I'm deciding that that kind of thinking is not for me anymore!
I will do it! I will wear that crazy outfit and dress up even if no one else is! I will wear those bright pink tights and that white, huge-sleeved top that have been hanging in my closet for so long! I will go skipping through the parking lot when there is a convenient wind! I will ride the carousel in the mall!I will be the kind of adult who expresses herself in the way she wants and doesn't concern herself with what other adults (or non) might think (in a caring, nice sort of way, of course).
This isn't to say that all those resolves in my previous post have gone out the window. Never fear! This is just one of the steps toward becoming that zesty, self-confident adult that I talked about.
4 comments:
Yay Eleanor!
Actually, I think this is entirely consistent with your previous post. What a lot of younger people, myself included, don't realise about 'growing up' is the freedom and individuality that come with it, even though it also brings additional responsibility and forces you to not put yourself first so much. When I was a young teenager I was alot like you described yourself in the first few paragraphs. I was always checking to see what other people were wearing, saying, doing, what opinions they had and what they enjoyed. I had lots of individuality inside me, but I was too afraid. I kept myself under very tight control-- alot like you, I would guess.
Since I've been older, I've become able to be what I want to be-- I don't worry anymore about whether I'm overdressed when I'm wearing what I felt like wearing and it's making me happy, or if I'm going to look immature if I do something I really want to do that's a little childish. It's so much better this way, and I would never go back. So be ye encouraged, dear one. The best is really ahead. I shall expect to see you in the white top ere long.
(ps i think the key is doing what you want to do without stoping to think about whether you're the type of person who does that. if you want to do it, you're the type. and anyway 'types' doesn't matter a lick.)
(pps it gets alot easier the longer you live this way. it'll be second nature before you know it.)
(ppps so. yeah. long comment. maybe i'm just making up for the non-commenting that rankles your soul.)
Funny, I know what you mean. The unashamed quirkiness in me has been growing by leaps and bounds in late years. I think it is an important part of self-forgetfulness (for me at least, some people not being as intrinsically odd, and some more :).
So do it!
Sing strange songs to your friends in old navy and make them cringe.
Wear the jumpsuit with loud purple flowers.
Don't supress the urge to quote poetry even though nobody around you will get it and will, in fact, think you're weird.
Don't worry about falling asleep sitting up on a car trip even though you will look stupid and people will take pictures of you. :) Who cares anyway, right?
These are things I've done lately, but I have also seen a somewhat distressing tendency to TRY to be odd. Not the goal at all. Equally self-conscious. Somewhat repulsive to see in oneself, actually. :)
"i will keep the spirit of Christmas all the year long!"
(you were reminding me of michael caine in the muppet christmas carol ;)
it feels funny to say much cause we talked about this a lot... but YAY!!! i have another craziness in public friend!! come visit me and layne and you and me will go to the mall dressed as star wars characters and stay totally in character the whole time.
fo.
real.
Welcome to the big wide world of comfort and joy, sistah frin. It's out there. Some folks decide to live in it and some folks don't. You gonna looove it. In your big sleeves.
So wow, does this mean your adult self forgives your Mom & me for declining to give a hooty hooterson about all the adolescent cringefests we've put you through? Because that would be absolutely absolutional of you. :-)
.....
[Uhh... wait a second. Kathryn B has a JUMPSUIT with BIG PURPLE FLOWERS? For real?]
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